Category Archives: Writing

No book… yet

TSO-???Thanks to all of you who voted for The Smart One during it’s campaign on KindleScout… unfortunately, they took a pass on this one (no reasons given, just a generic rejection email – that’s part of the game). I am planning to pursue other avenues for the book, but first I need to spend some time in (a trait I learned from a lifetime of owning dogs).

The story ain’t over yet.

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The Last Day to Vote

Okay, folks – it’s the last day to vote to get my new novel The Smart One on track for publication by Kindle Press – and bag yourself a free ecopy of it in the process.

Need to know what it’s about? Check out the video below.

To vote and read a sample of the book, click here.

To get more little glimmers of the novel, check out the mini excerpts below the video link.

And thanks in advance to all of you for taking the time to watch, read and vote!

“If actors can’t be on money, then baseball players can’t be either,” said Brad.

“Now that’s your man’s pride talking,” she said, “and you just tell it to shut up.”

“You’re not testing it here. Go test it in Lima, at Rancho Muchacha. Put it in someone’s g-string, see how far it gets you.”

Only there’s no dead bodies here, but the nightmare is real.

“You can probably understand that after right now I just want to keep my head down and my nose clean.”

“Please. Next you’re going to tell me you’re on that caveman diet. You a hipster or something?”

“Son, you know, Brad’s elevator, it does go to the top but has a lot of trouble getting there.”

“Don’t you go all psycho on me. I was only checking up on you.”

“I’m paying more than minimum, but not that much more. Christmas bonus a turkey and a bottle of scotch.”

“But he always liked you, Dink. He said you were the smart one.”

Dink wanting now to start hitting his head on the steering wheel to get him to stop, just stop.

“I was almost your mom. I wasn’t stupid. Well, you’re better off without them.”

“Ordinarily,” VanDoren said, “I’d say it was too early. But it’s never to early for free beer.”

“You kidding me? For you the high moral ground is a cesspool.”

The car full of chemical smell, the one you got from overheated brake fluid or whatever it was.

“I would tell you your woman troubles are over,” Dink said. “But really they’re not.”

“This one of those things, your wife needs medical marijuana but can’t get a prescription?”

Dink was trying to figure out how to get six bags of Yoda shaped tater tots into the freezer.

“I still got this kubaton. Maybe you remember, didn’t end well for you last time. It won’t this time either, you don’t leave.”

“Shake my hand,” Dink said, “or old man Spangler will think I’m selling you coke.”

Would Mrs. James Bond hold against him all the women her husband bedded because he was doing it for England?

Crystal saying now, “Well don’t stand there like a doofus. Come in.”

“He decided to go with this thing where he paints me symbolically naked instead of really naked.”

“So you’re going to stay mad if you don’t call and you’re going to be mad if you do.”

“You’re a weenie, Frank.”

“Promise me this isn’t going to get you in trouble.”
Shaking his head. “Foolproof. It’s mostly legal.”

“If you wanted to know I’m cheating on you, shoulda asked, I would’ve told you myself, even if it wasn’t true.”

A bottle of her PMS meds struck him in one ear.

“Hello, little bro. We thought you were a Jehovah’s Witness.”

“What it’s worth, I threw coffee in his face, threw him down on a table.”

“Don’t ever play poker with me, man. I’ll strip you down to your tighty whities.”

“I heard you were smarter than you looked,” said old man Spangler.

Final Days to Vote for The Smart One

The clock is running down to vote for my new novel, “The Smart One” for publication by Amazon’s Kindle Scout program. You can read a sample of the book here and then vote.

And if you’d like to know what you’re getting into, here’s a little video that gives a sort-of overview. Enjoy… and thanks in advance!

The Smart One Voting Continues

This is continuing the plug for my new novel The Smart One, which is now up for nomination on Amazon’s Kindle Scout program. As mentioned in previous posts (but repeated in case this is the first time you’re seeing this, if you vote for the book now you’ll get a free copy of the e-book if I’m accepted. Plus, you don’t need a Kindle proper to read the ebook as you can read it by putting the free Kindle app on your smart phone, tablet, or computer).

So here’s what you’ll miss by not reading The Smart One:

Chapter 13: “Ordinarily,” VanDoren said, “I’d say it was too early. But it’s never to early for free beer.”

Chapter 14: “You kidding me? For you the high moral ground is a cesspool.”

Chapter 15: The car full of chemical smell, the one you got from overheated brake fluid or whatever it was.

Chapter 16: “I would tell you your woman troubles are over,” Dink said. “But really they’re not.”

Chapter 17: “This one of those things, your wife needs medical marijuana but can’t get a prescription?”

Chapter 18: Dink was trying to figure out how to get six bags of Yoda shaped tater tots into the freezer.

Chapter 19 (Today – bonus length!): “I still got this kubaton. Maybe you remember, didn’t end well for you last time. It won’t this time either, you don’t leave.”
“Don’t be so mean little si—”
“Don’t call me that.” Tightening her grip.
“Ma’am.” He yelped it.

The Smart OnePrevious posts of stuff from The Smart One:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five

Sound Bite Collection #1

More JCF madness:
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To be continued…

The Smart One: What’s It All About?

A book trailer of sorts for my new novel, The Smart One. You can earn a free copy by voting for it here.

Another Shameless Plug for The Smart One

The Smart One
Lucky you! This blog is likely the only way you’ve connected with me on social media, so you haven’t been bombarded with my daily reminders that (*ahem*) my novel The Smart One is now up for nomination on Amazon’s Kindle Scout program. It means I also haven’t been constantly re-iterating that you only have thirty days to vote (less than that now), that you’ll get a free copy of the e-book if I’m accepted, and that you don’t need a Kindle proper to read the book when you win it (you can use the free Kindle app on your smart phone, tablet, or computer).

And what you’ve missed in these little missives is that I’ve been posting micro-excerpts – one liners, really – from successive chapters of the book, picking up with chapter 6 (because I posted the first one two three four five chapters here already) (more than in the Kindle Scout excerpt!).

But because I like and appreciate my blog readers, too, I thought I’d take the opportunity to catch you up with the scintillating prose you’ve missed in my marketing efforts (and if you want to see this stuff in real time, you can connect with me via Facebook, Twitter, and/or Google +)

Here’s what you’ve missed:

Chapter 6: “Please. Next you’re going to tell me you’re on that caveman diet. You a hipster or something?”

Chapter 7: “Son, you know, Brad’s elevator, it does go to the top but has a lot of trouble getting there.”

Chapter 8: “Don’t you go all psycho on me. I was only checking up on you.”

Chapter 9: “I’m paying more than minimum, but not that much more. Christmas bonus a turkey and a bottle of scotch.”

Chapter 10: “But he always liked you, Dink. He said you were the smart one.”

Chapter 11: Dink wanting now to start hitting his head on the steering wheel to get him to stop, just stop.

Chapter 12 (Today – bonus length!): She reached in the pocket of the robe, pulled out a pack of Marlboros, pulled one out with her lips, offered him one.
Dink shook his head.
“What, you quit?”
“You knew?” Him being every bit of twelve when she was around.
“I was almost your mom. I wasn’t stupid. Well, you’re better off without them.”

With more to come in the following days…

No Kindle Required! (Sort of)

Apologies now as I will be obnoxious over the next 30 days. My latest novel, The Smart One, is up for nomination through the Kindle Scout program. Anyone who nominates the book will get a free e-copy for their Kindle if the book is chosen for publication.

I should add you don’t have to have a Kindle to read the book if you add the Kindle software to your smartphone or tablet.

Go to The Smart One on Kindle Scout

“Please. Next you’re going to tell me you’re on that caveman diet. You a hipster or something?” (Chapter 6)

TSO Snip 28d