Foreign Affairs

I was killing a little time by egosurfing, and I came across this review of my work from a German website. I ran it through Google’s translator to see what it was all about (“Faust” is the German word for “fist,” which the program translated literally):

Joe Clifford fist customer reviews

The books of the Joe Clifford fist have all together a completely certain Flair. It understands it to lead around the reader at the nose and to bring new idioms again and again in the Plot. Here one can know really only end the conclusion, what is now really before-pleased. That keeps the readers.

This gave me pause for thought. It was a long pause, and afterwards, I decided to try another translation site, with these results:

The books of the Joe Clifford fist have altogether one entirely conscience Flair. It understands it that readers to bring at the nose herumzuführen and again and again new turns in the Plot. Here one can know really first to the end, what now really before favor is. That holds the readers in the pole.

I hope this means they like my work.

For comparison, here is a translation of a blurb about the release of The Essence of Evil in Russia (italics theirs):

There appeared one additional book of American visionary- humourist, joe Of k. Faust (Joe Clifford Faust, 1957 -) from the trilogy “Angel’s Luck”. In this year already left two novels of cycle – “desperate measures” (“Desperate Measures”, 1989) and “precious load” (“Precious Cargo”, 1990). And here now steeled the turn of last part – “essence of evil” (“The Essence of Evil”, 1990).

Here is already truly “DEVILISH LUCK”! In vain named so his spaceship the desperate nezavisimyy merchant by captain James mey… Just barely miraculously rescued two civilizations – terrestrial and arkolianskuyu – from the intergalactic scandal. They just barely transferred respiration. And – THAT?! Coma, you will excuse, to the first after sending into the head clever idea it did drive in “corporations extract” soiled in the hold of the “devilish luck” of ampule with the essence of human personalities, corporations, strictly, and belonging? Who, will forgive, he managed it let go young copilot into the local bar, where it to sp’yanu produced SUCH, that also is thought terrifically?! Who, pardon finally generally let out from the field of the sight of arkoliantsa, from which eye and for the minute it was impossible it got down?! You dumayete – this already limit to everything? In vain you dumayete! Events only razvorachivayutsya… What? Read – and you uznayete!..

I like the fact that they think of me as an “American visionary-humorist,” but I can’t say the book will do all that well over there based on this description. No wonder the Cold War went on for so long.

Apparently automated translation technology still leaves something to be desired.

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